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“i like a woman who…”

daniellemertina:

i don’t like when men tell me “i like a woman who [insert some quality they think i have here]”

i feel like i’d *prefer* to be told, “I like that you are [that quality]” because that sounds like an actual compliment

whereas the other thing is not

mainly because it’s presumptuous. it sounds like i care what kind of woman that random man likes. or that i should care.

and i don’t.

i feel like most men who use phraseology like that believe that the male gaze is this holy thing that all women should fall over themselves for

like a man thinks that what i do is good, so yay for me! i should feel proud of myself now!

how else do you explain random men saying ‘i like a woman who is…’ and thinking they just gave a compliment?

yeah, not about that life.

i don’t like when men tell me “i like a woman who [insert some quality they think i have here]”

i feel like i’d *prefer* to be told, “I like that you are [that quality]” because that sounds like an actual compliment

whereas the other thing is not

Oh man, this is perfect and absolutely encompasses (for me) the difference between feeling complimented vs fetishized.